IC CONTACT - DRIFT FLEET

[wolfuncaged]

FROM: SUBJECT: KIRK Fenris? It's me. Can I come in? MARIAN/CLOUD Meanacing DORIAN Well, I wasn't certain what to expect... JUSTICE You seem to have escaped the planet unharmed. RIONA You know, when someone is three sheets to the wind and suggests a threesome... RIONA Fenris! It feels like ages since we've spoken. KIRK ACTION MARIAN Fenriiiiis ADALWOLFE please tell me you didn't sleep with Isabela too ANDERS :3 MARIAN This will do KIRK Can we talk? MARIAN You're a mess, Marian. ADALWOLFE Special delivery! ANDERS Maybe it will help with your face. HAWKE Fenris? You there? VARRIC Don't-- don't do anything. OCTAVIA Hey, Fenris ELIZE Fenris? JOVE ACTION STEVEN fenrisssssssssssssssssssssssss ROBIN Listen, Fenris, I know you don't give a shit about me, but-- FELIX Fenris, I apologize for contacting you in this way, but I was wondering... JOVE SO ABOUT COLE JOVE STRAWBERRIES

TO: SUBJECT: KIRK About Anders KIRK Kirk wakes KIRK Kirk? Can we speak? MARIAN Where are you? We need to speak. KIRK You wish to speak HAWKE We need to speak VARRIC Varric. Varric. Varric wake up. JOVE Jove. May I have a moment of your time? JOVE Can we speak? Are you busy? HAWKE Is there anywhere on this blighted hole we can find any decent alcohol? JOVE I was spiteful and angry to you, and I owe you an apology. HAWKE Hawke. Did you know the Inquisition have a demon? VARRIC There is something I need to tell you.

inboxcode by cawaii

Comments

voice forever

[wolfuncaged]

[It has not been a good time for Fenris. Not that it ever is a good time for him. His existence has only had fleeting moments of almost happiness, and he has honestly come to accept it for what it is. Some people...well, they just aren't meant to be happy. He's not even sure if he knows how to be happy any more.

Which is why he hates himself a little for feeling something like happiness when he hears her voice again. It's quickly covered back again. He can't let himself feel like that. He can't let his guard down her again. Even if hearing her voice once more made him feel- well. Just feel.

Maker, he's missed her.

But he needs resolve. That doesn't mean he won't reply though. Carefully, cautiously. The trust isn't there. He can't let himself have that yet.]

Was that meant for me?

[ofkirkwall]

[ Truth is she didn't expect him to reply, like... at all. She thought if he heard anything he would pointedly ignore it, go back to whatever corner of the Fleet he was brooding in and pretend he had never heard a thing. So when it flickers on and she hears him she feels her blood run cold.

All at once she feels a surge of hope only to crush it down. No. Marian Hawke doesn't get lucky, she doesn't get back the things she ruined so easily. You're no better than the rest of them.

She swallows hard, debates with herself if she should even bother replying. If she should throw the blighted thing under her pillow, pretend that she never received the message. It would spare them both the awkward conversation and inevitable argument, wouldn't it?

In the end she caves and clears her throat - glad, at the very least, she hadn't been stupid enough to use the video function. ]

I─ Well, maybe. [ A laugh, short and nervous. ] It's... nothing important, don't worry. Just messed something up again, as usual.

[wolfuncaged]

I see.

[It was a mistake, replying to this. He shouldn't have done it. He should have let it be, walked away. Maker, he can't bear to be in the same room as her. How can he expect to have a conversation with her?

He's made a habit of it recently. Pushing people away. He's starting to feel lonely, but it's not exactly a rare emotion for him. Crushing loneliness is par for the course for him. It's just how he's supposed to be.

He lets the silence hang, for a moment. He misses being able to talk to her about anything. How she could show up and make him smile with some foolish comment or action. He misses her so much it aches. The feeling of betrayal runs deeper, though. He can't do this. ]

...I will let you get back to it, then.

[ofkirkwall]

[ She curses herself for hoping for more than this, for thinking there was even the slightest possibility it would be different. Everything is too far gone for that, to shattered and broken. He can't be in the same room as who, why did she think he could possibly stomach holding a conversation with her? Still she sits with a lump in her throat, with things she wants to desperately say but can't.

She hates it, this suffocating silence. Unable to speak like they used too, unable to breathe. Stuck with a longing that doesn't fade. An aching hole in her chest she desperately wants to fill. That she doesn't deserve to fill.

It's your fault, all of it. You did this to yourself. ]

Fen─ [ The words catch in her throat. ] I... right.

[wolfuncaged]

[A part of him wants to continue speaking to her. A rebellious, traitorous part of him. But he knows it cannot be. Not yet. Perhaps not ever. He doesn't know. He wishes he did, that he could give her something, anything. But he can't...and he won't.

He stares at the communicator for a moment, before letting out a steady exhale, turning it off. ]