wolfuncaged | IC CONTACT

FROM:

SUBJECT:

	KIRK	Fenris? It's me. Can I come in?
	MARIAN/CLOUD	Meanacing
	DORIAN	Well, I wasn't certain what to expect...
	JUSTICE	You seem to have escaped the planet unharmed.
	RIONA	You know, when someone is three sheets to the wind and suggests a threesome...
	RIONA	Fenris! It feels like ages since we've spoken.
	KIRK	ACTION
	MARIAN	Fenriiiiis
	ADALWOLFE	please tell me you didn't sleep with Isabela too
	ANDERS	:3
	MARIAN	This will do
	KIRK	Can we talk?
	MARIAN	You're a mess, Marian.
	ADALWOLFE	Special delivery!
	ANDERS	Maybe it will help with your face.
	HAWKE	Fenris? You there?
	VARRIC	Don't-- don't do anything.
	OCTAVIA	Hey, Fenris
	ELIZE	Fenris?
	JOVE	ACTION
	STEVEN	fenrisssssssssssssssssssssssss
	ROBIN	Listen, Fenris, I know you don't give a shit about me, but--
	FELIX	Fenris, I apologize for contacting you in this way, but I was wondering...
	JOVE	SO ABOUT COLE
	JOVE	STRAWBERRIES

TO:

SUBJECT:

	KIRK	About Anders
	KIRK	Kirk wakes
	KIRK	Kirk? Can we speak?
	MARIAN	Where are you? We need to speak.
	KIRK	You wish to speak
	HAWKE	We need to speak
	VARRIC	Varric. Varric. Varric wake up.
	JOVE	Jove. May I have a moment of your time?
	JOVE	Can we speak? Are you busy?
	HAWKE	Is there anywhere on this blighted hole we can find any decent alcohol?
	JOVE	I was spiteful and angry to you, and I owe you an apology.
	HAWKE	Hawke. Did you know the Inquisition have a demon?
	VARRIC	There is something I need to tell you.

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Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[Robin is always the last person Fenris ever wishes to speak to. For a time, he wondered if Nel had taken his markings back to go into Robin's service once again. Clearly that was not the case, and that knowledge was what kept Robin still breathing.

He considers not answering at all. He still doesn't believe Robin truly cares about Nel's welfare. That would mean allowing himself to think any salve owner would do that. That perhaps, sometimes, Danarius wasn't all lies. He couldn't let himself believe that. Not any of it. People like Danarius, like Robin, were monsters and nothing more. ]

I have already noticed. If you believe he will listen to anything I have to say, you would be mistaken. He has been conditioned very well into believing what his place is.

[The last comment was a definite swipe at Robin. He had contributed to his mess.]

[frankly, Robin barely blames himself for that. it's hard for him to think that his several months of influence even count next to Nel's entire life.

so the jab barely registers to him, by the time he gets the message.]

You were fine with forcing him out of it before. [well, that. might be a swipe of his own.] There must be someone who can help.

You were keeping him as a slave. I was not about to stand back and allow him to live that life.

What can I do about his markings? Tear them from his flesh? If I could do that, do you not think I would have removed my own?

I did. There must be someone else who could...

[...he trails off. oddly. probably nothing.]

[Fenris gives a frustrated 'tch' sound. Because of course it was Robin. Of course it was. He doesn't make note of the trailing off, or, if he does, he doesn't voice it.]

Not that I have seen. Though perhaps one of the medical staff has the understanding to do so.

That's something. I guess. I'll start there.

[something about him is definitely more subdued. his frustration, or his tone.]

Have you ever thought... about it? For you?

You do that.

[That...is a loaded question. Fenris knows, once upon a time, the person he used to be fought for these markings. To have them burned into his flesh. He paid for the freedom of his mother and sister with them, with his identity, with being turned into a monster on a leash.

He remembers the agony of receiving them, of coming to when the painstaking process was finally done, after days and days of nothing but agony - and knowing nothing. How he was paraded about by his master, ready to kill with a snap of his fingers. How pleased Danarius had been. To have done the impossible. How he represented the man's lifetime of work. How every scar laced with lyrium was Danarius' claim on him, the tendrils of the markings traced by rough fingers every night. His..

The pain still lingers, a constant dull ache. The pull of the Fade trapped beneath his skin, whispering and singing and hurting. A pain that spikes when he's touched. He's learned to push past it, to ignore it, for those he trusts enough to come that close. But the pain is still there. He often wonders how much of it is the lyrium and how much is due to what they represent.

As much as a curse as the markings were, they had also served him well. Without them, he never would have been free. He wouldn't have been able to protect his friends the way he had. He hates them, with all his heart and soul, but they are a necessary evil.

But yet... There was a time, once, when United Earth had kidnapped him, had disabled his markings. He was angry, at being captured, but he remembers it best as the only time he was ever not in pain. How strange the absence of the pain that had always been there had felt. How he could touch other people and not feel like it burned. To have that feeling again...]

I do not waste my time, wishing for hopeless things.

It's... Not. Hopeless. It's not...

[lucky for him, Fenris can't watch him pressing his palms over his eyes. he's not sure if Fenris' devotion to his own misery makes him angry, or just... upset. he knows he doesn't have much right to be either.

but something about Fenris has always stuck with him. since he met him. maybe he's just always felt kind of bad for him. part of his Kings' Realm, perhaps, or maybe he just reminds him of himself.

but he doesn't want to drag this thing somewhere it doesn't need to go. he's been drinking, but not enough for this argument.]

I'd offer to help, you know, but you're already pissed off, so. I know how that'd go without having to say it.

So thanks for the thought, I guess.

[he will turn his device off and leave it somewhere for a while. he's not keen on responding, if there's ever anything to even respond to.]

[Fenris knew the offer was going to come. Even without the feelings of anger and betray he has towards Robin, he likely wouldn't have accepted it. He speaks so much of moving forward, of finding a new life, of leaving all these chains behind. He says it to Nel, plenty, demands it of the other elf.

But Fenris is best at his hypocrisy, and cannot leave his own chains behind. Not entirely. His own are his hatred, his dogged need to hang on to it, to be spiteful and vicious to those who wrong him and never, ever let it go. To never forgive, to never forget. He knows it will slowly destroy him, but he hangs onto it all the same.

As he does his markings. He's a fool, and he knows it. But fixing it. Fixing himself is something still far beyond him. ]

That fact it is your offer and not someone else's would do little to change my answer.

[He can take whatever comfort from that he wishes. Fenris doesn't much care. ]

IC CONTACT - DRIFT FLEET

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